Marriage Builders
Marriage Builders is part of Churches Together in Swanley and District (CTSD) and aims to build up and support marriage and family life in our community.
We started as an outcome from the Churches Together Marriage and Family Life Prayer Cell, where a group of us, concerned about the state of marriage and family life in our country and community, began to get together regularly to pray for changes, looking for God's will, without setting our own agenda.
Some of us began to get involved with supporting couples who were going through relationship problems. From that developed Couple to Couple Counselling, and then, as we recognised the need to be more proactive rather than reactive to relationship problems, we began to provide the Marriage Course.
This year (2011) we also ran a very successful Valentine's Dinner
What do we provide?
- The Marriage Course
This Course was developed by Nicky and Sila Lee at Holy Trinity Brompton, and has been run successfully in this country and across the world for about 15 years. It was updated last year (2010). This popular course is based on Christian principles, and has proved helpful to all couples regardless of marital status, race or faith.
The aim of the Marriage Course is to enable couples to build a strong and intimate relationship that will last a lifetime. It aims to give couples a regular time out together over a period of 7 or 8 weeks.
Each evening is relaxed, and attempts to give the feel of a date and time out with each other for each couple. They have an opportunity to talk about issues that have been pushed out by the rush of daily life. They discover what makes their partner feel loved and have time to discuss ways that they have caused each other pain, and discover how to heal their hurt. They recognise the sources of pressure on their relationship. Some learn new skills for communicating and resolving conflict, others make changes in their lifestyle in order to nurture their marriage and grow closer to each other in the process.
Each session starts with a meal. Then an aspect of relationships is addressed by watching a DVD, or live talks, and listening to how other couples from a variety of backgrounds, have changed their own relationships in this area. There is also plenty of time allowed for each couple, on their own to look at their own relationship in this area.
The privacy of each couple is always respected. There is no requirement to disclose anything personal to a third party. But they are expected to talk to each other. Every marriage can be strengthened through the course when both husband and wife are prepared to work at their relationship together. An important part of the work throughout the course is for couples to find time between sessions to continue building their relationship through Marriage Time. There is no group discussion.
A nominal charge is made to cover the costs of the meal and for running the evening.
When will the next Marriage Course be run?
At present, April 2011, we are running a course with 8 couples involved.
We have at least 2 couples who were not able to join the Course this time, but have shown an interest in joining one later in the year. So why not join us?
We are proposing to complete the current course with a Celebratory Supper on Saturday 2nd July 2011, which will also act as an introduction to the next course starting in September. Members on the current course will have an opportunity to share how it has helped them.
The course is open to married couples, and those in a long term stable relationship.
For more details, contact: Jim or Doreen - 01322 664770 or Graham or Jenny - 01322 664884 or email marriagebuilders@talktalk.net
- The Valentine's Dinner
Following the success of this year's event, we propose to host a similar event to coincide as near as possible with Valentine's Day in February 2012.
This evening gives couples an opportunity to celebrate their relationship over a relaxed and inexpensive meal. There are also pointers given as to what strengthens and builds relationship, and there is a brief presentation about the Marriage Course.
Next year, 2012, will in itself be a momentous year with the Olympics and the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. Why not make 2012 a special year for you by attending the Valentine's Dinner and subsequently the Marriage Course.
- Couple to Couple Marriage (or relationship) Counselling
About 9 years ago two of us undertook training in Couple to Couple Marriage Counselling, and began to work with Marriage Resource (Greater London Southeast). We work under the ethical ethos of the Association of Christian Counsellors.
If you would like more details contact Jim or Doreen as above, or ring Marriage Resource Coordinators on 0208 249 8685, or online at www.marriageresourceselondon.org.uk
- Marriage and Family Life Prayer Cell
This has been in existence for 13 years, and meets approximately every 6 weeks, for about 1½hrs on a Monday or Tuesday evening. We share what has been going on, and pray into issues relating to Marriage and Family life in our country and community. We also support the work of Marriage Resource in prayer. This is open to anyone within CTSD who has a concern to pray for marriage and family life.
Hopes for the future
We see many possibilities to enhance marriage and family life for the future. The particular areas that we are praying into are:
An increase in the impact in our community. We would love to see Church members from all denominations begin to catch the vision for inviting friends and neighbours to take the opportunity of refreshing their relationships. We hope that this will bring an increased impact for stable relationships in our community.
For more people to get involved in prayer for this aspect of community life.
For more couples to be prepared to get involved in the delivery of the Marriage Course. The more occasions each year we can provide, the more couples we can reach!
We would love to see another area of impact addressed. While some of our Churches are providing marriage preparation, and some even using the Marriage Preparation Course from the same stable as the Marriage Course, we are not reaching beyond those either within the Churches, or who come to the Churches looking to be married. We would love to be able to offer Marriage Preparation to the Registrars, who conduct the majority of marriages, in order to give all couples a firm foundation for the future of their relationship.
Another area of marriage and family life that needs support is parenting. We have run Parenting Groups in the past, but do not have the people to take this on at present. It would be good to provide this service again.
There are several organisations that offer material for Parenting Groups. If you want to discover what is available at present, why not try
Care for the Family at www.careforthefamily.org.uk/parenting
Holy Trinity Brompton at www.htb.org.uk/parenting or http://relationshipcentral.org/parenting-book